you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
