so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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