Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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