It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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