you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
