how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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