idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Bring me that man meat
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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