You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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