I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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