Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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