After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
