did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
