my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
