He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize