i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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