I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
