Need sex. Gaining weight.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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