K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
