He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
