I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
