I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Michael Bay diarrhea
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
