I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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