i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
