I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
