bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
