if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
