Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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