I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
