im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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