New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
