Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
