Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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