He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Your cock deserves a montage
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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