xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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