It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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