please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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