What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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