both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
