im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize