Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
