OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
