Apparently you make a good broom.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
