im having a threesome with these popsicles
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
