I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
