I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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