I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
