With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
