So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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