Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
