At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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