Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
