when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm sobbing to NWA
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
