We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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