so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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