3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
