Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize