he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
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my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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