I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i dont even know how to be here
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
