YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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