Me too!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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