Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
