You smell like stripper and shame
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
