Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
